Over time, Microsoft® Windows™ tends to do something weird. Then it does another thing weird. Then another and another and--all of a sudden--the first two weird things are happening again! You get the picture. Software programs start to crash, seemingly at random, and Windows simply bogs down in out-of-the-blue-screen errors.
Your local computer store says, "Yep, we had to reinstall the whole operating system (Windows) so that'll be $95. Those family pictures and Word documents? Oops. Things were really messed up. I'm sure you understand."
Cop out.
Translation: "Hell, we had no clue why so many things were going wrong--not off the bat, anyway. It would have taken us four to five hours to track down knowledge base articles, read them and apply them to your problems. Even then, we might not have solved all your problems. Everybody is generally happier if we just 'say' the operating system had to be replaced and just do it. We get the job done faster and cheaper that way, anyway. Besides, you've got all weekend to reinstall those 29 programs that were on there. That's plenty of time."
Before you pay someone to get your system "running right" again, consider this technique. It has raised the eyebrows of many elite geeks I know (that's "l33t g33x" for the privy among you).
Disclaimer
Let me lead off with several very simple statements:
Use this technique at your own risk.
If it works for you, please have the heart to come back and comment to that effect.
If it doesn't work, feel free to do the same.
If you think it has "messed up your system", please refer to #1 above.
Why Does This Work?
Now, having said all that, let me give you a quick lesson in why this works--if anything, to allow you a yardstick for determining if this technique is for you. I'm oversimplifying below so, to all you fellow geeks out there, don't beat me with that yardstick. Skip this section if you don't care.
Microsoft uses a technique in Windows called memory mapping. Don't worry about what that means. Just understand how they do it. They use a file called a DLL. Surely you've heard someone, at one time or another, say they want/need/have/hate a DLL file. It stands for "Dynamically Linked Library". Windows dynamically links many programs that are all re-using the same computer code through a single, shared "computer code library"--a DLL file.
Maybe that code simply clears the screen. Maybe it moves the mouse pointer around. The point is, many things in Windows work the same in many, many programs. Rather than having duplicates of the same computer code eating up all your memory for each program that is sharing your memory (RAM) and doing the same things, a DLL that is shared allows the computer code to be loaded once and shared by many programs.
It might be called user.dll or routines.dll or 82hysttegd.dll--who knows--it could be anything.
OK. To the meat.
Programmers will bleed when cut. That is, they are human and make mistakes. Rather than spending your time [innocently] trying to prove my point by looking for a programmer to cut, understand the problem with DLL's and fix it yourself--now. You will be surprised how many programs that occasionally crash or act weird in Windows start working properly--right out of the blue!
Without explaining how this happens, I'll tell you what happens and how Windows reacts. Windows "forgets" where the correct DLL is located and looks around for it. When Windows finally finds the DLL file, it latches on and uses it from that location on the computer from now on (unless it loses track of the DLL again). The problem is, Windows often latches on to an older version of the DLL that it ran across first. So, from now on, you're seeing crashes and little weird glitches because the code in that older DLL doesn't have the latest fixes and updates that clear up those glitches. Microsoft likes to call this "degrading gracefully", but that's another topic (on the who cares? list).
What to Do
You need to tell Windows, "Listen, bub. Get your act together. Here are all the DLL's. Go look at them and straighten out your internal reference system. Clean up your act or I'm gonna play teacher and someone's giving me an Apple."
How to Do it
This works for any version of Windows (95/98/NT/ME/2000/XP). Follow these steps:
Create a text file. Do this by right-clicking on the desktop and selecting "New" from the pop-up menu. When the sub-menu opens, select "Text Document".
Edit the new text file you created with Notepad (we'll rename it later, so any name for it will do for now). Do this by double-clicking it (with your left mouse button).
Paste everything in the text block below into the blank text file you're editing. DO NOT PASTE THE LINES SAYING "========= SNIP HERE =========". Rather, everything between them.
Close the notepad window, clicking "Yes" when it asks if you want to save it.
Now, highlight the icon for the text file on your desktop and hit the F2 key on your keyboard (to rename the file). Give the file the name DLLTICKLER.BAT
Double-click the "batch file" you just created and go read a book while Windows cleans itself up. On my system, it took 28 minutes. On another system, I saw it take 9 minutes. Still another took 50 minutes.
When you come back and see the message "All registrable OCX's and DLL's in system folders are now re-registered", that means it completed the cleanup.
Reboot your system and enjoy a cleaner, smoother-running system... probably.
Put the "batch file" you just created and ran in a safe place in case you need it again some day.
========= SNIP HERE =========
@echo off
cls
echo -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
echo Re-registering OCXs in the Windows folder. Please standby...
echo -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
for %%f in (%windir%\*.ocx) do regsvr32 /s %%f
echo Re-registering OCXs in the Windows System folder. Please standby...
echo -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
for %%f in (%windir%\system\*.ocx) do regsvr32 /s %%f
echo Re-registering OCXs in the Windows System32 folder. Please standby...
echo -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
for %%f in (%windir%\system32\*.ocx) do regsvr32 /s %%f
echo Re-registering DLLs in the Windows folder. Please standby...
echo -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
for %%f in (%windir%\*.dll) do regsvr32 /s %%f
echo Re-registering DLLs in the Windows System folder. Please standby...
echo -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
for %%f in (%windir%\system\*.dll) do regsvr32 /s %%f
echo Re-registering DLLs in the Windows System32 folder. Please standby...
echo -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
for %%f in (%windir%\system32\*.dll) do regsvr32 /s %%f
echo
echo All registrable OCX's and DLL's in system folders are now re-registered.
pause
exit
========= SNIP HERE =========
well now, there is something to be said for geekdom. I refer to you as a geek because anyone who knows what the hell all that means is one to me. I will certainly keep this in mind since my Internet Explorer goes on strike at least once a week. So, I then use Mazilla or AOL. I see that dang .DLL is not responding window all the time along with "insight"? I have no clue why every time I shut down windows will pop up saying this or that program is not respounding. I have no clue what these programs are.
Anyway, it's great to have all your knowledge available to me and I simply love your fiestiness!
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